she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
