He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
