How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
