I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
