Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
