Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
FUCK WHALES
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
