haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
