Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
