Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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