does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Couch. On fire.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
