So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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