I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
