Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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