You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
