She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
