there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
