I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
