I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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