He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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