I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
