weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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