Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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