I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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