she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
