I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
