so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
