we have pet lesbian snakes
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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