you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
