how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
