Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i've created a new STD.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
