I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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