you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
