i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
