You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The dick lei will go down in squad history
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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