I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
