Non-Jews are for practice
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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