he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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