I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
