He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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