Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
