he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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