You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
tell me about the eggs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
