You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
