just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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