I'd wear matching sweaters with you
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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