I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
