At least make sure they are 18
Why
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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