On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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