broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
