Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was born a porn star she said
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
