The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
