He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
