I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
